Soul Searchin

Self discovery be like…

There’s something very mystical about the journey of self-discovery. Perhaps it’s because there isn’t one clear way to go about it or that it isn’t a straight line from one place in life to the other. You just kind of stumble your way through it like a toddler just finding its footing. There are times when you want to be brave enough to stand on your own two feet and conquer one step after the other and others when you just need to feel the hand of a trusted person. Someone who’s been here longer than you even if it’s just a little bit longer, but that is sure-footed and that you know will safely guide you along the way. And then there are times when you just need your mom to pick you up and get you to where you need to go cause honestly, fuck this shit. Fuck the scrapes and bruises from the falls. Yes, it’s fun to get the instant gratification of people clapping and seeing the pure joy on their faces with each step, but what’s that worth if there are so many falls along the way. What’s worst is that you look up, and very quickly, you’re reminded that you are not a toddler that can easily impress a crowd with even the slightest of action. You’re a full-grown adult with responsibilities and a bunch of people who could care less about whatever it is that you are going through today. Not that no one cares; if you are blessed, then you have a solid support system that can come by way of family, friends, a partner, or maybe a combo of all of it. And they are truly helpful, lifesavers even. They are there to pick you up when you’re down and hold your hand when you just need someone there. To laugh with you and cry with you. All the things that any one person may need at any given moment. But that’s what’s interesting about self-discovery, all any of them can do is support you. When all is said and done, it’s up to you to do the work. You’ve got to be open to being honest with yourself. You’ve got to choose to allow the varying experiences that make up your life to shape you in whatever way you allow them to. It’s frightening and exciting and freeing and necessary and whew boy does it change the game. Perhaps the scariest part about finding yourself is that nothing can ever be the same again once you do. I mean, sure, some things will remain staples in your life because those are the things that add the most to it. However, there are things that you are going to find no longer serve you. They no longer add to your growth, happiness, or evolution. What sucks the most is that its usually never anything you want to give up either. Like logically, you know that you need to, but emotionally its quite possibly the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do. It’s that teddy bear, blanket, a safety net that has to give way to adolescence as you are now a big kid, and big kids don’t need those types of things. Big kids have their own beds and get themselves dressed. They are responsible for communicating their needs and wants. You’ve got to pay attention in school and do your homework. You’re not the toddler anymore; you’re a developed person who knows that this life is no longer the life that should be if you want to live according to the best life there is for you to live. You have fallen, you have scrapes and bruises, but you’ve gotten up, you’ve found your footing. You see the pathway clearer, and the stairway isn’t so daunting. And whether its by way of a heartbreaking experience that sends you into a tailspin and lands you at rock bottom, which is actually just a clean slate to redirect your journey. Or you find yourself in the warmth of your own spirit that’s wrapped you so tight that you can no longer avoid its purpose and the plan that’s been set forth for your life. So much that it propels you into a mission to get to the bottom of just who you are and how you should show yourself to the world in the way that it’s been yearning for, as have you. Or even if its the result of being stuck in the house for over a month because a whole ass pandemic has broken out and now you’re forced to face yourself in ways that you can no longer ignore. In ways that you can’t hide from. You have to ask yourself the questions you’ve been avoiding and face the reality of what you actually like and want vs what you’ve been settling for. This is both difficult and curious, ultimately giving way for a long-awaited necessary happening to occur. However you arrive at the place of self-discovery may you embrace it with the joy of one who knows that yes there will be painful parts that are sure to come with mandatory detachments and uncomfortable revelations. But on the other side of it comes new life. Fresh air, a renewed vision, rejuvenation, and literally unlimited possibilities. Basically, self-discovery be like….wake up!!! You’ve got a whole ass, beautiful ass, love, and happiness filled, success having, wildest dreams come truest life to live. And that’s not some cliched way of thinking, it is absolutely what you deserve and can have. So I say, let’s do it. Let’s dig deep and see what and who we find in there. Here’s to it. Here’s to discovering your best self…..and my goodness does it look good on you!

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